10 Keeper Signs

"Lucky" Official Video With Colbie Caillat

(for a lighter, smiling disorder sort of feel...)

For the most part, yours truly only write about market moving stuff (so to say) or outburst of emotions sugarcoated as literature, but nowadays I am sort of rewired (or is it cured) to give your brains a rest from my usual psychosis (note that I'm speaking in the 1st person).

While I was foraging for news-worthy materials on Yahoo, I stumbled on a feel-good entry by Glamour Dating Editor Ruby Madren-Britton about signs to spot a keeper (me reading this stuff is like total solar eclipse so cut me some slack) . Thinking it's a good way to kick-off my new blog category "Tipsy" and having the EQ for these watchamacolit nowadays, I thought I'd add my own flare to the mix. So here goes...

Here's for the lovers, the dreamers and me...

Keeper Signs:

1st Keeper clue: You're of similar wavelengths (NOT the same)

It's always good to agree on the bigger things in life (i.e. career goals, core values). For me, it's an upside to be with someone who has a well-grounded concept of family and higher being (or simply goodness).

Differences, on the other hand, add some spice to relationships. One of the sure-fire signs you have a keeper is when you can tolerate his/her pet peeve or anything that would normally turn you off. If shared w/ someone significant, little idiosyncrasies keep things exciting and interesting.

2nd Keeper clue: S/he sees you, everything in you.

While some may say love only sees beauty, I think its truest form sees everything, including inadequacies. When I say "see" I mean you don't have to fit a mold that would please the other person.

It's when s/he sees you in your worst day and still love every inch of you despite your gray hair, faulty grammar and wrinkled shirt. A keeper will embrace your glaring "inadequacies" and see you as nothing less than perfect.

3rd Keeper clue: S/he is a class act.

I'm not saying s/he has to be a poster girl/boyfriend (ala Rhodes scholar who sings like a fallen angel), simply having a good head on his/her shoulder is enough. Meaning, you don't need to put him/her on a leash (metaphor of course). Note that people can't give what they don't have so if their lives alone is messed up, they surely can't give you a better one.

4th Keeper clue: You're on top of his/her list

Madren-Britton has an interesting take on this comparing scenarios with a piece of steak. But since I'm against likening a person (more so my significant other) to a piece of meat, let me cite another example. In a plane or a bus, both of you like the window seat, would s/he offer it to you or plant his/her tush without a care in the world?

5th Keeper clue: S/he loves who you love (or at least tries)

S/he is genuinely concerned about your family and friends. If you're like me who keep a closely-knit circle of significant others, then it makes it all the more important for your flame to be part of your circle.

Give him/ her extra points for taking initiative to mesh in your world. If no attempt is being made, no need to press the panic button just yet. S/he just might be too introverted to volunteer his/ her presence so make an attractive offer.

6th Keeper clue: S/he's your biggest fan.

If things go well for you, s/he will be the first person to pop the champagne. S/he doesn't get threatened by your success; instead, kisses you for a job well done. S/he shares your victories (and defeats too) like they're his/her own. I think flames should complement each other and not compete against each other.

7th Keeper clue: S/he remembers the little things.

Just like what I told someone significant, "The little things are the ones we all can't do without."

It's a lazy Saturday afternoon, and you got a pleasant surprise knocking at your door carrying a pack of double-stuff Oreos you nonchalantly mentioned you were craving for. This means s/he is paying close attention to you (more than you pay attention to yourself) even when you're not keeping score. And we all adore little acts of love like that right?

8th Keeper clue: Loves you despite the timezone or universe

To borrow a thought from Imagine Me and You, love is like an unstoppable force, something bigger than all of us. No space or time difference could and should stop someone from expressing it.

People have different languages of love. Some may have a flare for words; others speak with acts of love (intimacy). I think self-control is overrated when it comes to this one because love is passion, obsession, something us mortals are simply not omnipotent enough to contain.

9th Keeper clue: You're his/her happiness.

S/he hates traffic, and you get stuck in the middle of the expressway for two hours. Instead of feeling miserable, s/he sees it as an excuse to spend more time with you talking about the most trivial of things from your tiny success in the kitchen to how wonderful your hair falls on your face.

10th Keeper clue: S/he inspires the best in you.

I think the true measure of a keeper is continuous growth. For a free spirit, having a significant other who's secured enough of him/herself to let you keep your own identity and allow you to grow is a prize. The most rewarding of unions is when you grow together and apart.

©Grace Ramos